Childhood Signs That I Was Pansexual!

    For context, I identify as pansexual, bisexual, and queer. I use these all interchangeably, because sometimes I don't feel like explaining to people what "pansexual" means, and I like the bisexual colors more.

    When I was younger, I was primarily gender neutral. This doesn't make someone LGBTQ+, but this meant that I had taken a stance against the norm. I even referred to myself as someone with a "tomboy brain, but a girly-ish body." I played with Barbies, Pokemon, video games, animals, and nature. I didn't mind getting dirty, unless I was in nice clothes. I primarily hung out with boys, and was much more likely to crush on girls instead of hanging out with them.

    The first sign was a same-sex crush I had on a girl when I was five or so. Her name was Delilah, and I enjoyed her company, and spent most of my time with her. When I was older, I realized that those butterflies I felt about her were there because I was attracted to her. Nonetheless, when I was younger, there wasn't any representation to tell me that being attracted to the same-sex was normal, much less possible.

    Then, when I was eight, it hit me. One day in the halls, I literally just had an epiphany wash over me. I like girls! Then, the feeling became pure dread. I like girls... What the hell is wrong with me?! Following that incident, I was stuck in the closet for five whole years! I had no idea that liking the same gender was normal, because society told me it wasn't.

Maybe if there was better education, or more representation, I would have suffered less. I'll pray for a better future for the generations ahead.